Confident or Compensating?

We’ve just arrived at La Concha Resort & Casino in San Juan, Puerto Rico. I am immediately reminded of the time I brought my husband on one of my fitness trips to Montego Bay, Jamaica during Spring Break several years ago. Imagine scantily-clad college-aged girls drinking and fornicating with young men they barely knew, had just met, and would never see again. I can still see the young men drinking so much I wondered if they’d remember anything about their Spring Break trip. I observed games and activities I KNOW are illegal in the US. In fact, I learned a lot of great party tricks for a singles’ social I was hosting upon my return. But I digress - that’s not the point of this story. This commentary is about confidence.

I love people-watching. So that’s exactly what my husband and I did as soon as we disembarked from the taxi that brought us from the San Juan International Airport to a beautiful hotel, resort and casino nestled in the Atlantic Ocean.

The first thing we saw was a group of young ladies in bikini tops and short shorts squealing and giggling as they climbed into the waiting taxi ahead of us. Long hair and shiny chocolate skin reflected the sun, and several men turned to admire them before the door slammed shut and they sped off. I smiled, remembering my younger days, and followed my husband into the lobby.

As we waited in line to check in, I admired the elaborate tattoo on the man in front of me. His chiseled forearms and muscled calves made the blues and greens of the design move and dance as though it were alive. Next to him, an equally well-toned woman in a sheer, see-through top with cropped blond hair spoke rapidly to the desk clerk, and the muscles in her arm flexed and relaxed as she gesticulated in an effort to fully express herself. A group at the lobby bar suddenly erupted into laughter causing me to turn and look in their direction. Women of all shades, shapes and sizes lined one whole side of the bar – each with a different colored exotic-looking drink in her hand or to her lips. About three or four young men, either shirtless or in white tank tops and shorts, laughed with them. Young and old, big and small, tall and short, all nationalities – everyone displaying a variety of swimsuits, swim trunks, dresses, shorts, hats, and hairstyles.

What was more fascinating was guessing who the leaders were and which were the faithful and loyal followers. Was it the loud-talking lady with lots of curves and a little bit of sun dress in the middle of the women at the bar, or the guy with the red baseball cap turned backwards leaning casually against the rail in the pool bar a few yards away?

My online dictionary defines confident as being bold or presumptuous in manner – having the ability, judgment and resources needed to succeed. Hm, let me present a little quiz…

Confident or Compensating – the woman with the triple E breasts (and butt), wearing the smallest black and white Aztec print bikini at the resort, frolicking and dancing in the waves. I choose confident. What do you think?

Confident or Compensating – a group of young men swimming in the ocean all wearing white undershirts and regular shorts. Now this is a hard one for me. This could be a cultural acceptance, therefore, making them confident enough to do something NO ONE ELSE in the ocean is doing. Or, they may not be confident in the lack of tone and muscularity of their chest and abs, therefore, putting them in the compensating category. What do you think?

Confident or Compensating – a six-month pregnant woman in a perfectly-fitting orange and brown bikini and designer sunglasses. From the back, my husband didn’t even know this lady was pregnant. The smooth skin stretched taut over her evenly round stomach did not display one mark or any discoloration. To me, she looked like a Goddess of Fertility walking proud with a head of auburn waves cascading down her back. I vote confident on this one (Especially because I sported a black and white bikini to the pool during the sixth month of my pregnancy with my first son. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t cute – until I looked at the pictures of a very pregnant me with a lopsided stomach and extreme tummy discoloration a year later and realized I looked a hot mess. But whatever, this isn’t about me right now.) What do you think? (About the lady at the resort, not me.)

Confident or Compensating – the young wife, fiancée, or girlfriend (we couldn’t figure it out – a ring was present, not on both) sitting in the middle of all this “freedom” with her husband, fiancée, or boyfriend (we’ll call him HFB for Husband, Fiancee or Boyfriend). HFB was admiring all of the confident and compensating women around him while his WFG (wife, fiancée or girlfriend) flipped through the Places To Go in Puerto Rico book. She was either confident and didn’t care that he was doing, or she was compensating and pretending to read the tourist guide. What do you think?

Well folks, my time is up. I’m hungry and heading to Old San Juan for some authentic Puerto Rican food. Blog to you later…